I Can Love For No Reason
TW: This post mentions police and state violence against children of color. The specific text has been bolded.
I saw a meme the other day on Facebook that I liked. I’m not a big fan of memes, but this one was good. It said, “I love you. You’re probably thinking - you don’t even know me. That’s true. But if people can hate for no reason, I can love.”
In my last post, I talked about how our current way of life in the U.S. has us in chains. What we often mistake for freedom actually requires those of us in power to oppress others in order to keep (or get) what we want. It has, and continues to, decay the moral fabric of our society. In many cases, it is those who speak the loudest about morality that seem to be causing the most harm, all in an effort to maintain their power, their comfort, and their material goods. There is a hoarding going on that spans across not only physical possessions, but opportunities, generational wealth, education and power, and nobody wants to concede a thing. It’s why the prosperity gospel is so popular. We want to believe that we are given things because we are good, and others are denied things because they aren’t. There. Our hands are clean.
But let me ask you: Should any of us be seeking power? If the institutions responsible for the health of our souls and our “culture” only work in the context of caging and oppressing others, are we winning? Isn't “land of the free and home of the brave” really “land of the oppressed and home of the afraid” if we are so scared of losing power that we abandon morality in the name of “good Christian values?”
One of the more disappointing things I’ve seen from the Jesus and coffee crowd in recent days has been not only the “All Lives Matter” rhetoric, but also the #SaveOurChildren movement that has seemingly come out of nowhere. Now, I know people who have been working against human trafficking and for the protection of children for a long time in real and substantive ways. This is not for you. But for those who all of a sudden have taken a great interest in this, let me remind you:
Jacob Blake’s kids were in the car when he was shot in the back seven times by a police officer.
Philando Castile’s daughter was in the car when he was murdered by a police officer.
Tamir Rice WAS A CHILD when he was murdered by a police officer.
And there are STILL children being separated from their parents, systematically abused, dying, and “lost” by our federal government at the border.
And these are just a few examples. If you are only outraged by the #SaveOurChildren campaign, but haven’t mustered the energy to care about these black and brown children, it’s time to examine why.
In the last post I also said we’re never going to pick up the phone and apologize for the harm we’ve caused. We aren’t good at apologizing and meaning it. I’m thinking it’s time to pick up the phone. It’s time to apologize, for real, and do the work of repairing the relationship – the work of restorative justice. This step isn’t, and should never be, construed as “saving” the relationship. We’re the ones who broke it. White saviorism would ask us to “take the high road” and to be proud of ourselves for “doing the work of making amends.” We may even feel jilted and justified in our anger if we are rebuked. But in reality, we need to approach this with humility, because we are in the wrong, and nobody owes us anything. Restorative justice is asking for forgiveness. It’s allowing space and time for healing, with the acknowledgement that we need to rebuild trust. That’s on us. It’s about listening and following and giving up control and power and learning to take no for an answer.
I want freedom for everyone. I want a modern-day abolition. I want restorative justice. I want a moral revival. I want to give up the means of control and abandon domination of others at every turn. It sounds absurd. It sounds radical. But why is true freedom for all radical? Why is the idea of a life without violence and dominion toward others absurd? We have a lot to unravel. I’ve long said that if I could have one wish, it’s to throw it all out, the whole mess of a society we’ve built, and try to build something that works for all of us. I don’t even need a seat at that table.
The details of your personal lives are unimportant to me when it comes to your humanity. I don’t care what your religion is, or your gender, or your sexuality, or your race, or your ethnicity, or anything that has to do with your identity. I love you because you are you, a person who deserves love. We all do. The details of your personal lives are important to me when it comes to our personal relationship. I want to know you and understand you deeply. But even if we don’t agree, I will always fight for your rights and freedoms despite our differences, even if we can’t be friends.
Photo by Kairos Center for Religions Rights and Social Justice